Good shit...

Taken from http://bash.org/?browse&p=361

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Nori123: You don't know jack shit

VioletSky: That's not true, I know him well

Nori123: Haha

VioletSky: I'm serious

VioletSky: Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children

VioletSky: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.

VioletSky: However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.

VioletSky: She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

VioletSky: Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

VioletSky: The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

VioletSky: Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

VioletSky: So there.

FiPo: LOL

Nori123: I have actually chortled coke through my nose

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Now's that's good shit...

Anyone seen my weekend?

Its Wednesday already, and I still haven't seen my weekend.

Last weekend was mad, for most, weekends starts on Friday and lasted 'till Sunday. Mine started on Thursday last week. Here's what happened...

It was the 3rd round of the Asia Road Racing Championship 2005 in Sepang, as you all knew, my company's the organizer. Thursday and Friday was pretty much stupid and boring, set this up, bring that up, unload that shit and shits like that...

Saturday was the actual qualifying day, not much of qualifying actually, everyone who registers get to race anyway, its more like a timed practice session. Finally get to see the bikes in action, a little slower than what I expected, but then again, I played too many games, so nevermind.

Sunday's the race day, that's when all the spectators come, the guests comes and the grid girls show themselves. Sad to say, they're nothing much to shout about, just 2 grid girls from Yamaha during most of the races, the uniforms are hot, but the face's a little on the brownbag side, so...

The real hot girls comes out during the 600cc superbike session, these girls comes together with the China team; China Yuan XG Jao Racing Team. Their pictures can be found here; the first two pictures are them. Their uniforms are definitely super hot and of course, so does their bodies, even the faces are passable.

Anyway, at the end of the race, the usual routine kicks in, keep this shit, pack this shit, take down that shit, and other shits...

So, theres goes my weekend... If you can even call it a weekend, it's just a saturday and sunday for me, not a weekend.

Newsflash

News that doesn't matter, among other things...

Police looking for Ayah Pin

JERTEH: Two days after the Sky Kingdom commune here was attacked by a mob, the whereabouts of the cult leader Ariffin Mohamad, 65, better known as Ayah Pin, is still unknown.

Sources revealed that Ayah Pin has escaped to Afghanistan via an underground tunnel network that connects Malaysia to Indonesia and is believed to have boarded a hijacked aeroplane to Afghanistan.

"It's good to have a housemate to be in hiding together with me, and my, is he handsome or what?" Said Osama Bin Laden.

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Help spot the traffic offenders

PUTRAJAYA: The next time you see a traffic offence being committed, snap it – with your handphone or camera – and send the picture to the Hall of Shame section of a newly-launched road safety website.

One week after the launch of the website, a semi-nude photo of a girl, believed to be taken secretly using a hidden camera is loaded into the website. "But she's obstructing traffic!" Claimed the uploader who wished to be anonymous

"We agreed that she's obstructing traffic too, so we posted her picture into the website" Said the website's webmaster, who wished to be anonymous too.

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Meanwhile, in the international scene...

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Man dies afer being sodomised by a stallion

Washington: A man dies after being sodomised by a horse in a barn dedicated to beastiality sex. The man's colon is believed to be ruptured after being pounded rapidly by the stallion's massive reproductive organ.

"It was the dog, he was jealous that the man liked the horse better than the him, I swore I saw the dog poured some aphrodisiac into the stallion's drinking water before the session" Claimed an anonymous witness.

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Ducks may silently pass along bird flu - study

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The bird flu virus that experts fear will jump from birds to humans seems to be mutating yet again, and may be able to hide in healthy-looking ducks, thus putting both other birds and people at risk, experts said on Monday.

"That's right, its time we ducks strikes back, the chickens have hogged the limelight too long" Said an agitated Donal Duck

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Sports...

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Nicol David stuns Grinham

DUISBURG: Malaysia's Nicol David stunned world number one Rachael Grinham in straight games yesterday to win the gold medal in the women's squash competition at the World Games here.

"I'm going to beat that bitch one day, even if that's the last thing I do" Shouted a very bitchy Rachael Grinham in her locker room.

Weekends

WARNING: This is a boring post, so if you're easily offended by boring post, please move away. Thank you

Last weekend was one of the most boring weekend I've ever experienced in my life (so far). Of the 48 hours, almost 30 hours is spent on sleeping, pretty much re-paying back all the lost sleep during the weekedays before.

Friday night was spend with my families having buffet at The Atrium at Sunway Tower because my grandfather and my cousin is is town, spend the rest of the night in front of the computer playing Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas. Slept early that night...

Woke up early today, went to Subang parade MPH to pick up the new Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. The book comes in a fancy paper bag which consists of the book (doh!), a can of Vanilla Coke, a pack of Kit-Kat, a pen, ruler and a 10 bucks voucher from MPH. The whole package cost me RM 99.90(!), positively the most I've ever spend on a book. Spend the rest of the day sleeping...

Sunday, glorious sunday morning, but then again, I never knew because when I woke up, it's no longer morning, not even afternoon, I woke up at 3 :-) The rest of the day was spend watching TV, playing GTA and bumming around.

I told you it was a boring post, so until I found something more fun to do, bear with me. Anyway, it IS my life...

Fly vs Boredom (Harry Potter style)

The new Harry Potter book would be out by tomorrow mornng.

The new Harry Potter movie poster is already available at the Sunway Pyramid TGV.

In the midst of the whole Harry Potter excitement, i'm going to re-post a very very old post about 'Fly vs Boredom' Harry Potter style, enjoy:

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Boredom edged himself closer towards Fly.

Fly can feel the fear creeping into his heart, he's scared.

Boredom's reach out to touch Fly

Fly felt the greatest boredom he'd ever felt enveloping him, he draws his last strength and pulls out his wand.

Expecto Patronum!

A silvery wisp shoots out of Fly's wand, but nothing happened.

Expecto Patronum!

This time, a solid translucent silvery figure of a large Fly appears in front of him.

The Patronus Fly wheezes towards boredom, chasing it away.

The Patronus only managed to chase boredom back for awhile. Boredom retals by drawing out its wand and cast a Stupefy! spell on the Patronus. The Patronus fly freezes in mid air and fell onto the floor.

Seeing his patronus is freezed by boredom, the anger in Fly's heart rised to a new level and he is determined to destroy boredom once and for all.

Boredom saw the determination in Fly's eyes and tried to attack Fly before he can do anything.

Crucio!

Boredom casted the torture spell towards Fly.

Protego!

Fly managed to cast the shielding spell just in the nick of time to protect himself from boredom's attack.

Expelliarmus!

Fly casted the disarming spell to disarm boredom of his wand.

Avada Kevadra!

Fly casted the forbidden killing spell to attack boredom. Boredom, now disarmed and defenseless got hit square in the chest by the red bolt that shot out of Fly's wand.

Boredom let out a loud shout, clutched his chest and fell onto the floor. Boredom slowly dissolved into the plain air with a cloud of smoke.

Fly sheaths his wand and look at the empty space on the floor that used to be boredom. Fly leaves the place slowly and walked home.

Little did he know, another boredom is looming near him and is planning the next strike on Fly

Untitled

Oh heck... I can't think of an appropriate title for this post, here are some that came into my head when I tried to put a title to this post:

a. The Kluang Experience
b. The Kluang Thing
c. A few days in Kluang
d. Bullfarting in Kluang

e. The mis-adventures of a Chinese fellow in a small city in Johor by the name of Kluang

f. I know what I did last weekend

g. Kluang Strikes Back

h. Cub Prix: Revenge of Kluang (!)

I ended up with 'Untitled', which is an appropriate title for a post without a title...

Anyway, I just got back from Kluang yesterday afternoon, after a bloody long weekend toiling at the racetrack in hell, er... I mean Kluang. As most of y'all should already knew by now that I worked in an event organizing company dealing with motorcycle races. (I'd say ALL of you should know because there are virtually no stranger that reads this stupid blog so if you don't I'll have to shoot you, and survivors will be shot again)

Back to pressing issues, Kluang is pretty much as hell as hell can be, the weather is super "Are you sure we're in Malaysia and not Sahara?" hot and it rains like mad in the evening. 3 days of hot and cold wet, hot again, then cold wet can really kill someone. I'm not dead yet, but I felt like dead, my whole body aches, I can barely walk and my nose is running like a damned waterfall.

There really wasn't much to talk about my races, its pretty much monotonous all year round, we set-up the tents, we place the A-boards, we put up the flags, we set-up the banners, we hang around doing nothing-while looking at umbrella girl's ass-while mad idiots risk their life on a bike-while the bosses entertain the VIPs. After the race, we bring down the tents, keep the A-boards, flags and banners and go home. Pretty much the same every damned race, except for a few surprises, like seeing some idiot broke his rib bone, endure the weather (Heat is normal, rain is surprisingly seldom), see the bike fly off the fence and other crap like that. It's a very interesting job indeed (<-- This is probably the biggest lie I ever told myself).

One interesting point during the weekend is the fact that I smoked less than a pack the entire weekend, which is a huge improvement from almost a full pack a day, even more during race weekends. At the moment, I still have 5 un-opened packs of Marlboro Lights that David bought from the airport when he came back from Thailand. I told myself that I'll stretch that 5 packs until end of the year, and then I'll kick it, for good.

Many things happened while I'm away during the weekend, London is in chaos, a bridge fell down in Klang, Fernando Alonso got 2nd in Silverstone (Probably had a bad singing session before the race), a friend of mine broke-up with her boyfriend and aliens invaded Subang! (Don't ask!).

Oh well, enough bullfarting for now, time to go home...

Bye

"I say we nuke 'em all" - George Bush

My Favorite Things

My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad (and bored)

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

Remember that song?

From Sound of Music... The scene of the thunderstorm with a bunch of girls in pyjamas frolicking on their bed (Stares into nothing dreamily...) Reminds me of another movie, but that's porn, so nevermind.

Firstly, please note the title; My Favorite Things - Plural!

I'll be listing out some of my favorite thingS occasionally now and then from now on, and like I said, note the plural, so I'll probably list down a few favorites in the same category.

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So? What shall we start with today? Games! Since I've been rambling about the quite frequently lately, let's start with games.

Now what's my favorite game? Got a few; Diablo 2, Counter Strike, Pirates, GTA...

Let's start with Pirates

Sid Meier's Pirates

I played this game a few months ago, it was actually a remake of an old Sid Meier classic back in the early 90s, when games are still 2D and the sounds are limited to blips and chimes. The new version is 3D and boated a great background music; I can still hum it out.

Why do I like it? Simply because its an adventure game, you get to become a pirate (Doh!) We all know how fun that can be, added by the influence of Pirates of The Caribbean that's still fresh in my mind, pirating can never be more fun, not being able to swim aside. Its also great because you can jump into the midst of the action immediately after the game starts, there's nothing more satisfying than seeing your tiny little sloop sinking a Spanish Imperial Navy War Galleon, boarding an English Royal Navy Ship-of-the-line, or sinking Blackbeard's frigate.

The game's also addictive, and because the gameplay is so fast, you can re-play the game all over again, and again, and again, and again and... I think I re-played the game almost 10 times, using a different strategy and a different country every time.

The graphic of the game is stunning, of course not as whack as Half Life 2 (Which I hate) and GTA, but its great in its own class. You can actually see tiny little cannon balls shooting at the enemy's ship, see the sails fluttering in the wind and the waves actually looked real.

Now you have it, a short review of one of my favorite game, 'till then...

"Shiver me timbers! Ships ahoy! Starboard side! Roll out the cannons!"

Arr...

Untitled

Firstly, you'll notice I have a lot of blogs titled 'untitled'. That's because I can't think of a title for my post, simple as that... don't ask why

Went to watch War of The Worlds with david today, not a bad movie... one of the best I've seen this year (I don't watch many movies, most of them I watch are free). But like every other good movies, there are the negative points...

1. Tom Cruise is still too short

2. Dakota Fanning talked too much, and screamed waaaaaay too much, kinda annoying

3. Just like every other adapted-from-book movie, it's not faithful to the original book

But still, it's a great movie.
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Oh, guess what?
I'm not going to Kluang tomorrow, will be going on Friday instead.

You know what that means?
I'll be playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas again tonight, I wonder what weird sort of dreams will I get tonight? Stealing cars? 'Getting it on' with one of the girls? Stealing planes? 'Getting it on' with one of the girls? Killing someone? 'Getting it on' with one of the girls? or 'Getting it on' with one of the girls? I wonder...


Listening to Velvet Revolver's Fall to Pieces now, a rather good song really, sorta bring you back to the Guns & Roses era. But then again, Slash is in the Velvet Revolver, so the whole band got an G&R aura around it.

Oh well, I'm going off to play GTA now...

"See you around ese, keep safe" - Cesar Vialpando

Dream a GTA dream

Whazzup?

As some of y'all might already knew, I'm currently 'into' this new game called Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Very Interesting game no doubt, and addictive... damn bloody addictive. Been playing it for the last few weeks, and is sleeping at almost 4am everyday just to play that stupid game.

I'm an avid gamer, I play all sorts of games, and I'm known to play games until late into the night. So it wasn't much of a surprise when I played GTA until 4am in the morning. But what really freaks me out is I actually dreamt a GTA dream!

Do you play GTA: San Andreas?

If you do, you'll know that one of the missions requires CJ (The character you play in the game) to steal several vehicles from a list for 'export' purpose. So in my dream... I AM CJ, not playing as CJ, but is CJ himself.

One of the vehicles required is a convertible called a Feltzer, of which when I played before I went to bed, took me quite some time to locate. I can still remember the dream rather vividly, I'm sorta walking around in San Fierro and somehow stumbled upon a Feltzer in a parking lot somewhere, so in full GTA tradition, I just jack it and drive it away from the parking lot and drive towards the dock to 'export' it. But that's also when the police start giving chase, and they don't just come in cars and bikes like the game... these came with tanks! And the weird thing is, I can see the tank driver; David (Git! Get outta my dream!) So I drive like mad to escape from the evil tank driver, but...

I woke up at that point, either that or I forgot what happens next. This is really freaky, it shows that I'm definitely playing too many GTA: San Andreas. I can't remember dreaming of being IN any other game before, or like I said, either that or I forgotten.

Luckily I'll be going off to Kluang tomorrow, at least it gave me a chance of NOT playing that damned game for a few days, with luck... I'll be able to keep my sanity until the next GTA comes out.

'till then...

"No hard feelings, but you're being jacked!"

Untitled

Whazzup?

I'm just posting for fucks now, nothing to do, too bored to do anything. Got a gathering to go tonight, but that's tonight, not now... I'm damned bored now.

I know I said I'm boring all the time, and all my posts are boring all the time. Not really blog award material huh?

I noticed, actually David noticed that most award-winning / famous / popular / whore-able blogs are filled with pictures. Ever noticed that I never insert any pictures into my blogs before? Too much hassle and seriously, I'm lazy / bored / didn't bother to insert any pictures into this damned blog.

Actually, I got loads of things I wanna talk about in this blog, but what the hell! I'm too bored to do it... Will post it later or sometimes, oh what the fuck?!

Bye