The Flyz's Blog

Friday, October 14, 2005

Parenting

You remember when you were a kid and your parents will spank you because you were naughty and they'll tell you that they spank you because they love you? This afternoon in the shop, a typical chinese family walked into my shop with a little kid in tow, while the parents are busy being an asshole, erm... I mean busy looking through the games, the kid went out of the shop and look at our neighbor shop's boss playing game. The mom suddenly realized the kid was gone and went furious. When she saw the kid was next door looking at the boss playing game, she went straight to him and whacked that little kid like nobody's business, shouting at the top of her voice telling the kid to don't wander off and he might get kidnap or something.

I know that the mom meant good, telling the kid to don't wander off, but why does she needs to whack the kid? Can't she tell the kid nicely not to wander off? I supposed the old saying that she whack him because she love the kid, but how the hell would the kid understand it? That kid was probably not more than 8 years old, all he's thinking is probably "Mommy don't love me, that's why she hits me"

I've heard alot of time parents saying something like this "You go away, mommy don't want you anymore, always crying only, go away!" Of course the mommy don't mean it, it's just another trick to get the kid to stop crying. But why the hell would the parent say somehting like that to their own children? Have you any idea what are the psychology effects of saying something like that to a kid? You think the kid would know you don't mean it? They just think that their mommy is really leaving them and all they'll do is cry louder, and the the mommy would whack the kid because they refused to shut up.

Parents claim that if they don't hit the child, they would never listen to them, and the child would be spoilt. But how can you assume that a child would understand that their parents hit them because their parents love them? The kid would probably fuck up his life grow up to hate his parents because he thinks his parents hates him. I think the best approach would still be a straight discussion with the child, tell them straight to their face that they shouldn't do this and that, don't use stupid terms like "Shut up or I'll give you away" Tell the kid nicely, not threaten them into submission, and DO NOT hit them! OK, whack them a little, but don't overdo it, maybe just spanking their ass a little, or the school teacher style of canning their palm, lightly!, and DON'T EVER slap the kid, it's the worst that a parent can do, slapping a kid and you can bet that they'll hate you forever...

Maybe now I know why I have issues with my father.



_____
Before this, I was: Checking emails
Currently listening to: Jay Chou - Father, I'm home
Currently feeling: Melancholy, sad, regret why I have issues with my father

6 Comments:

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:26 AM  

  • Looking at the youth these days I must say that the lack of old style parenting may be the cause of the lack of submission and respect to parents but I do agree that we must not use terms to bring down the spirit and morale of the kid. However, you must also understand that if the kid being a kid may not comprehend the adult rationale because HE is a kid....and yes which is why parents resort to beating the child...to reinforce their point. In a way...never use a cain...your own had so that u feel the pain too...never HURT your kid.Most importly do it out of love. And yes my dad has slapped me to but today I know why and have no issues with him. Perhaps we need to ask why our parents slapped us...and we might see a different answer.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:11 AM  

  • malay parents seldom hit their kids, especially these days. its called the "sayang anak symdrone" in the end, not a few of the "anaks" grow up to be utter useless idiots. Just ask any of the more succesful malays u know, i'm sure they'll testify to that.

    I think there is a difference in hitting a child and abusing one.

    By Blogger David, at 11:04 AM  

  • Even if you don't hurt the child physically, shouting at him/her in public isn't advisable.

    Yes the main idea is to discipline the child, but by shaming them in such a manner you only end up making them confused and frustrated.

    By Blogger kensei, at 5:10 PM  

  • for me it made me creative. On threats of sending me the the ophanage, I would already sart planning my escape the moment it left their mouths :)

    I recall somehting about rolling up of the car and running to hdie with my grandparents or soemthing :)

    By Blogger David, at 10:19 AM  

  • Parenting - The toughest job in the wrold. Most of us have very little guidance when it comes to Parenting. We are not about to do it the same way our parents raised us. Parenting seems to be on the job training and you get to experiment.
    Just remeber.....no two kids are alike.....and circumstances change....see what other parents are doing and saying. Parenting

    By Blogger wlbcpa, at 6:10 PM  

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