Meme, Schmeme

OK!!
David's been bugging my ass for ages now to do that whatever meme he got himself tagged, and conveniently tagged me too, git!

If I could be a psychologist:
Now, we all know that people go to psychologist because they've some problems with their brains, and will probably do whatever the doctor told them to. So... If I could be a psychologist, I'll tell all my patients that they're superbly stupid and their brain is hopeless, and I'll tell them to invest their fortune into me so that I'll do my best to cure them, of course which, I'll probably make them worst so that their family members will be depressed too and come see me and I'll make them worst so that the families of their families will come to me and they'll all invest their fortune to me to cure thm, of course which, I'll probably make them worst... oh, you know the rest...


If I could be a chef:
Now this is interesting, I like to eat (But we all knew that all too well don't we?) so isn't it just cool if I could cook well too? Anyone watched the travel channel lately? All the cooking programs that's swarming that channel? I'll be famous, and rich, and powerful. Soon, I'll design my own recipe and put in some 'little something-something' that'll make them come back to eat at my place over and over again, and they'll ask their families to eat at my place and they'll all come over and over again. Then I'll charge them ridiculous price for say like... a thousand bucks for mee goreng or something. And then I'll simply stop cooking, so that those people will have to beg me to cook and offer their virgin daughters to me as offering so that I'll cook again. We all know how much fun that'll be...


If I could be the CEO of Microsoft:
We all know how rich Bill Gates is, and how powerful he is? That geek practically controls the entire software platform in the world! Now, if I were him, I'll just just as what he did... and more. I'll hike up the price of the softwares to a ridiculous price, and force everybody to use original softwares only, I'll use my wealth and power to ensure that whoever caught using pirated softwares will be shot. But of course, no one will be shot because I'll also use my wealth to buy off every damned piracy enforcer so that no one using pirated softwares will ever be caught. Why? Because I control the original software sales AS WELL AS the pirated ones... Then, I'll really be controlling all the computer platforms in the world.


If I could be a movie producer:
I'll be a porn movie producer! What? They make loads of money, and most porn producers are anonymous, believe me, I know :-) I might seem like an honest small time movie producer (Read: POOR) that won't touch any movies that touches on sex and violence. But actually I produces 90% of all the porn movies in the world!


If I could be a dog trainer:
I'll train the dogs to bites David's ass before he had a chance to shoot the dogs... What?