The Flyz's Blog

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

V Day + One

Exactly a year ago, I started this blog, back then it was still called Soliloquy.
Exactly a year ago, my first post is called V's Day + One.
Exactly a year ago, I chill out with the guys on V Day night
Exactly a year ago, I had a plan
Exactly a year ago, I had my heart broken

If it wasn't for this blog to constantly remind me, I would not have remembered what happened last year. My memory was never good, especially with insignificant matters, like my life. I've been too pre-occupied with all the shits in life at the moment, job, money, relationship, life as a whole.

Minutes seem to blur into hours and days and speeds by without me even realizing what's happening around me. My life revolves around being in front of the computer at home, running around everywhere to hustle the project I'm working on and mopping around in the office, and ccasionally blurring in the shop in Mid Valley. I'm doing too many things and too little things in too little time and too many time, things are never perfect, Its always too many things, too little time and too little things, too many time.

My long term and long distance relationship with her had finally ended, it ended nicely, it ended sadly, it ended peacefully. There are no tears, no rage, no shouting, no argument, just regrets, alot of regrets. I guessed I should have known that we're never meant to be together long time ago, a very long time ago. We're so different in manner, character and interest that its a surprise that we could be together for such a long time.

I'm likely to make a very drastic change in my life very soon, something that will forever alter my principle in life, but for the good of all. However, until the time comes, I'm still me, whoever I may be.

Who am I anyway? Merely just another insignificant individual mopping around in this cruel and unforgiving world. I was preparing a career profile of someone for the project I'm working on and it hit me that if someone were to prepare a profile for me, he'll have a hard time trying to find anything significant at all to be included into the profile.

Tomorrow would be the last day I'll be hustling for my project, my first personal hustle. I've been losing sleep over it almost everyday for the past week. The lethal combination of lack of sleep, the amount of stress and the mental fatigue for the past few days made me a very violent man lately. I've been picking arguments with my parents, shouting at strangers and trying to pick fights with everybody, and worst of all, I raised my voice to my friends. For those whom I shouted at for the last few days, those I pissed off; I'm sorry.

Before this, I was: Finalizing the proposal for my hustle
Currently listening to: John Lennon - Mind Games
Currently feeling: Fatigue both physically and mentally, emo, sad, sleepy, excited, stressed, burned-out


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